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lady_matsu's Journal  Things are going well Oh my god I love this house, please let us get it, oh please I woke up this morning with a fierce hangover, and I didn't drink anything last night. Regattas are hard as hell on the body. My whole body aches. I hotseated a race, where you get out of one boat and get directly into the next for another race. My lungs and throat ache, both from rowing and from cheering for our boats. My feet are tender from walking barefoot all day. My head aches from dehydration and from the cold. It rained the entire weekend, just poured. My hands are trashed. I rowed port in my first two races, and starboard in my third. I have blisters coating my palms liberally. I don't have cuticles, I have hangnails, from my hands being soaked for hours. Body is tired. But season is over. Body gets to rest. Brain is sad. That illness I had turned out to be the flu. I've spent the week laying about, being generally grumpy and miserable, getting up only to fail midterms. Okay, I only failed one midterm. I actually did rather well on my others. And thanks to the curve my ochem professor decided to have, I will be passing that class unless I do badly on the final. Oh good. Thank you curves. I spent an extraordinary amount of time this weekend playing Fable 2 with Blake. Fun, fun game. Quite silly, but randomly also very sad. Yesterday, at 5 am, I got on a bus for Lake Dexter, Oregon. We had a seven hour drive, got there about noon. The second I got off the bus, my boat went for a warm up run while my teammates rigged my four. We got back from the run and launched our boat, which had never rowed together before, of course. Ali was stroke, I was three, this novice B boat girl Cas was two, and a lightweight named Elana was bow. Not the most ideal boat. We race. It hurts. We get off the water, and almost immediately get back on the water for the Novice eight. This is the boat I've been really working for, and we placed first. Awesome! Got off the water, derigged, loaded the trailer, got back on the bus, and drove home. Got home right before midnight. I just did an out of state regatta in less than 19 hours. Oh, and did I mention I might have bronchitis? I am SO TIRED. So, I wake up at 5 am this morning, as usual, to take a nice leisurely shower and eat breakfast before crew. I like to start my mornings with plenty of time, or else I'm groggy and hungry and practice, and nothing gets done. I roll over and turn off my alarm, except... Oh shit. Its 5:45! I forgot to reset my alarm after we had later practice yesterday! leaping out of bed, I run around getting ready as fast as possible, throwing my books for my Thursday classes in my bag and running to my carpool pickup. Its a few minutes after 6, when I get picked up, but my driver Bailey isn't anywhere around. She didn't call me, which she normally does if I'm late. I wait five minutes, thinking she is just running late too, which happens. At 10 after, I call her. "Tawny?" she says sleepily, "It's Wednesday, Tawny." Oh. Fuck. Bailey has an 8 am class Wednesdays, she doesn't come to practice. I drive with Charlotte Wednesdays, and she picks me up at 6 am on campus, a fifteen minute walk away. Why hasn't she called me? I start running to campus, calling her at the same time. As her groggy voice says "Hello?" confusedly, I remember. She quit Saturday. I'm supposed to be going with Nydia. Apologizing frantically, I hang up on her and about face, running to where I'm supposed to meet Nydia, six blocks away. I call Nydia as I run. No answer. Its 6:15. I need to be at the boathouse in 15 minutes. I call again. Still no answer. I call The Dread Coach Robin, who snaps that she'll try and get a hold of Nydia, and that she is very upset with me and then hangs up on me. I suddenly remember Coach Brian. He lives in Arcata, and is almost always ten minutes late to practice. Maybe he'll still be in the area! I call, and he apologizes. "I just got to Eureka, Tawny, I'm sorry." Nydia calls on Robin's phone and harangues me. "You were supposed to call me last night and remind me!" I was, I now remember. "Now Robin is angry with me! GOD, Tawny!" and yet again, someone hangs up on me. I sit down hard on the sidewalk, and stare blankly at my feet. We have a very important regatta this weekend. I'm working as hard as I can to get into the 'A' boat, which I was in for my first race, but lost in my second race. There it goes. There is no way I'm getting into that boat now. Blinking back tears, I watch 6:30 go by on my phone. Its still dark out. A bat flies by. I stagger to my feet and trudge back to my apartment, where... I locked myself out. Travis is happily asleep... at Sara's. There are several ways to break into my apartment, all of which involve a neighbor letting me into their place and onto their balcony. I walk to my favorite coffee shop, which is closed. I then circle Arcata, wasting half an hour until I find an open coffee shop. I tell the barista my story, and he gives me free coffee and a hug. Thanks barista. You're awesome. But I'm still locked out. I wander back to the apartment, and Travis is just letting himself in to get ready for the day. Oh thank god. Man, what a morning. Fuck you, morning. You gotta let go when they get that old You gotta let 'em go 'Cause if you hold on, they'll puncture your lungs And separate your spine from your skull You gotta let 'em go You gotta let go when they get that old You gotta let 'em go 'Cause if you hold on, they'll bite your fingers off And tear you limb from limb It's second nature to them You gotta let go when they get that old You gotta let 'em go 'Cause if you hold on, they'll tear your stomach open And rip your guts out with their teeth You gotta just release http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv0Nq7tl ( A 2k test. ) My alarm is never what wakes me. I wake up on my own, and lay in bed sorting through my mood for the day while waiting for the alarm. I trip over the myriad of crap littering my floor and grab a towel on the way to the bathroom. My morning shower clears the rest of the cobwebs from my brain, silly as it may be to shower before exercising heavily in the rain and disgusting mess that is the bay. I eat an orange, a bowl of oatmeal and a mug of tea and pack my lunch for the day. All of this is before 5:30 am. I climb into spandex rowing shorts and a tee-shirt, and then layer, with silken pajama pants and sweats over them, and a two long sleeve shirts and a sweater. I'll be stripping down to the bottom layers by the end of practice, but they keep me warm in the mean time. At six, I leave my house, walking a few blocks to my meeting place for my carpool. Arcata is freezing at six am, usually frosty and foggy. I find the darkness and cold comforting. Routine makes me feel safe. Once we're at the boathouse, we take out oars and launches, do warm ups, and get our boat assignments, then stand about freezing while coach gives us our daily focus. We then take out boats, in a clusterfuck of five eights and many pairs, up to 55 girls. And then we're off, gliding, pulling, breathing together, seals and pelicans visiting us. I love the morning. Do you like banana flavoured candy? It seems like a good idea, doesn't it? Bananas are delicious. Candy is delicious. Shouldn't candy that tastes like bananas be delicious. But it isn't. Think about banana laffy taffy. It just isn't good. It's not terrible... but it isn't what I'd choose to eat. Thus, it has become a codeword. The situation is this: You're out with friends. You've been drinking, or maybe not. Maybe you're bored, or lonely. Whatever the situation is, you're flirting with someone you normally wouldn't. Maybe he's too old, too creepy, too ugly, too much of an asshole. Maybe he is actually she. Whatever it is, it's not something you'd normally go for, and it looks like you're gonna hook up with him. So your friend asks you "Say, do you like banana flavoured candy?" This means "Hey, think about this." We aren't saying "Don't do it". We aren't saying "Are you crazy?" We're just asking... do you like banana-flavoured candy? If you say "No, I don't think I do" we'll help you out of there. And if you say "Yeah, I do", we'll clear off. But we're giving you the chance to stop, think, look through your drunkenness/boredom/desperation. So, do you like banana flavoured candy? |
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